break down the walls.

when i was a kid,
one of my favourite tv shows was
in search of...
it was narrated by leonard nemoy:each episode was about the hunt for some
historical phenomenon or mythical creature.
i remember spending a summer
running around the woods barefoot at the lake
looking for bigfoot.

today i'm still 'in search of' many things,
only those things that i seek have changed greatly.
i'm seeking:

- COMFORT
- purpose
- fulfillment
- truth
- love
- acceptance

i also hope to rediscover & unearth
some qualities within myself
that used to exist,
but have been stomped into what i hope
is only a temporary submission.

i don't regret the things that i've done,
& i'm not sorry
for loving the ones that i've loved.

but i do wish that i could buck up...
& instead of hiding the scars that have been left behind,
instead of maintaining the fortress
i've so delicately built around my heart...
that i could just break down the walls
& put myself out there again.