the elusive mojo.

(AGAIN)

i don't think i've ever felt so burnt out...
school is brutal.
that's actually an enormous understatement.

i 'm getting by.
but there are days that i'm
hanging by a thread.
i just *need* to make it through
the next 2 months,
& then the next 2 years...

lately i've been asking myself
WHY i'm doing this,
& continually must force myself
to remind myself
that it will all in fact be
worth it...
all of the sleep deprivation
& sacrifice will pay off.

i just need to keep my head
above water for the next while...


luckily my head's spent some time
up in the clouds lately.
(which unfortunately doesn't do much
for my scholarly motivation)
HOWEVER...i'm thankful that i'm
capable of such emotion,
as i was beginning to wonder
whether or not i still
had it in me.
glad the old ticker still works...

soulmate?

smooooooooch.

spring has sprung.

life is complicated but
good these days!

here's hoping the trend of
awesomeness continues...

i recently reconnected with someone
from about a decade ago
who has blindsided me with their radness!
the world works in strange ways,
& i'm both happy & thankful
for this odd turn of events.

i vow to blog more soon,
but for now,
it's time to catch some zzzzzzzz's!

I'm out of my mind - think you can wait?

sentimental.

"& when the time is right, i
hope that you'll respond
like when the wind gets tired
& the ocean becomes calm;
i may be dreaming
but i'm longing to belong to you"
- Eddie Vedder

yep.

my willpower is impeccable.

how to be alone.

this video is a bit cheesy but there's something about it
that gets me, & so i feel the need to share it...



i especially like this part:

"Society is afraid of alonedom,
like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements,
like people must have problems if,
after a while, nobody is dating them.
but lonely is a freedom that
breathes easy
and weightless and
lonely is healing if you make it."
- Tanya Davis

i admit i've been afraid of being alone,
that i may have spent some time just
attempting to fill the gap.
i see things differently now.
i think that being in a
brutal relationship
(that ended almost 2 years ago now)
is what i needed
in order to realize what's really important.

& it's funny how
the loneliest i've ever been was
when i was with "him"...

relationships don't hold the answers,
we do,
within ourselves.

killing time.

timing has never been my forte.

but i believe that
the latest turn of events
has taught me that
i was wrong - i'm not broken after all.
so that's something.
actually, i'm pretty sure that's some kind of breakthrough...

beautiful.

obsessed.

can't sleep...

must defend house from zombies...

[the one on the pogo stick fucks me over every time]

calm down.

i have to keep reminding myself it won't
stay this way forever.
(everything ends)

but there are things beyond my control right now
that make my heart ache.

i feel unsteady.

that left a mark.

What we call the beginning is often the end.
& to make an end is to make a beginning.
The end is where we start from.
- T. S. Eliot

gravitational pull.

i think there might be some things

that are worth waiting for.

slow down.

le sigh.

i have ants in my pants.

i write my last exam for term 2 tomorrow! huzzah!

my eyes are burning due to lack of sleep.

i've had some awesome talks with some awesome people lately,
& i think it's helped me locate my missing mojo.
thanks, dudes.
(they know who they are)
i think i'll be okay.