a sunday secret & random verbal spew.

i keep wondering how much longer
love will elude me
(or i'll elude love?)

i'm growing tired of being
solitary.

i miss having...
a guaranteed movie buddy,
a little spoon,
a shoulder to smoosh my face into,
feet to warm my icy toes,
hair to run my fingers through,
& sleepy eyes to wake up next to.
true intimacy.

no amount of killing time
or self-induced ignorance
will make me less homesick for this.


.................


it's been a weird week.
i'm still trying to figure some things out.
school is going decently enough
- i'm not currently panicking,
which is a nice change.
i can't help but feel like it has
to do with the calming effect
someone has had upon me...

but who knows,
maybe it's just spring that's been
my breath of fresh air,
& not him.
maybe i'll never know.