left and leaving.

Spring forward, fall back down.
I'm trying not to wonder where you are.
All this time lingers, undefined.
Someone choose who's left and who's leaving.
Memory will rust and erode into lists of all that you gave me:
a blanket, some matches, this pain in my chest,
the best parts of Lonely, duct-tape and soldered wires,
new words for old desires,
and every birthday card I threw away.
I wait in 4/4 time.
Count yellow highway lines that you're relying on to lead you home.

[I'm running on empty here...]

holy shit.

somehow i managed to get an A+ in anatomy & physiology.
apparently studying day & night pays off.

i'm on the graveyard shift at the hospital all this week.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
forgot how hard it was to work nights.
i'm pooched.

...

quote of the day.

"It has become appallingly obvious
that our technology has exceeded our humanity."
- Albert Einstein

in search of...

today's exam might damn near kill me.

i hate this shit.
even if i fail this exam horribly
i'll still pass the course.
however i was doing sooooo well...
but somewhere along the way
i lost my damn mojo.

the battle for energy.

i prefer Red Bull in terms of
taste & effect.

but Monster has resealable cans!

this post wins for
most irrelevant blog post ever...

twas prompted by the writing of
a stressful lab exam in which i immediately
prior pounded a large coffee followed by a can of Monster...
...win!

final exams.

apparently during final exam periods
i even sleep with my textbooks.
i also eat lots of junk food & find myself wanting
to eat crap i normally wouldn't touch.
like shitloads of leftover hallowe'en candy
& the occasional craving for a big mac
that i haven't yet given into.
nom nom nom.

i think i'll be overweight (bariatric?) by the time
i finish nursing school.
exams stress the fuck out of me.

i need a break.

randomness:
cute michael cera-like dude works
at the copy centre @ school.
i may or may not have considered
photocopying ridiculous things
in pathetic attempt to grab his attention.

^ one of many reasons why
being single is better than being in some
complicated long-term relationship.

time to curl up with my lab manual,
my cats,
& my food baby.

missing.

the nights are long.

Wish I knew why it is

that I can fall asleep on the couch,
but when I crawl into bed,
my mind enters into some kind of
strange, supersonic overdrive.

I feel fragile.
So much pressure.
There's only one thing holding me together.

I miss holding hands.
I miss comfort.
I miss having a shoulder to rest my head.

I miss certainty.
But maybe certainty doesn't exist,
just the illusion of certainty.

If that's the case,
I miss the illusion.


My ticker needs some defibrillation.
Wish someone would step in with the paddles.

it is what it is.

pen·sive/ˈpensiv/

Adjective: Engaged in, involving, or reflecting
deep or serious thought.

11/11

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie,
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Dear November,

so far you suck donkey dick.

Let's switch things up, shall we?

Thinking about the 6 exams I have to write next week
makes me throw up in my mouth a bit.

Blehhhhhhhhhhh.

Oh, & to any dudes growing mustaches for Movember:
do NOT forget about DecemBEARD.
Beards > mustaches.

See?

is this for real?

Confession.

School is currently the only thing
keeping this from happening to my skull.